Living /= Writing
September 19, 2011 § Leave a comment
Hi, hello. I know, and I’m sorry.
In the past four weeks or so my life has changed dramatically in exactly the way that this blog was set up to capture, so obviously I did nothing to actually capture it as such. In a burst of can-do energy, I applied to a part time house management position at a local theater, and got it. Still not planning on actually quitting the hated/loved/hated day job, I had to be convinced that this was, in fact, a sign that I am, in fact, ready to move on and actually pursue my dreams (thanks boyfriend.) So I did it.
My team lead generally came in several hours after I did, so I had to sit there for most of the day while my heart raced along. My work girlfriends did what they could to keep me calm, but I was still not totally convinced quitting now was the right choice, and also holy crap I was about to just walk out on two years at my first “real” job. He finally came in; I asked to speak with him privately. I skittered to a conference room, whirled around to face him with my shaking, sweating, beet red self, and stammered that I had been offered a job at a theater. I shoved my two weeks’ notice at him and waited for his response.
I don’t know what I expected. He didn’t slap me. He didn’t rip up my resignation. He didn’t say, “You can’t quit YOU’RE FIRED.” He was super nice, and said I would be missed. Then we went back to our desks, probably because he could see that my knees were about three words from buckling. My heart raced for the rest of the day.
Two weeks flew by, in which I was trained in my new job and wrapped up my old. My work friends took me out to celebrate my departure, and I acted the requisite hot mess. On my last day, I spent about an hour fighting back a panic attack, and ultimately had to run out the door so I wouldn’t burst into tears and be all the wrong kinds of hot mess. And then it was September, and oh yeah we didn’t mention the fact that the new part time job is between shows so I had four shifts this month.
Oh. My b. But I decided it was a good thing (I had to) and decided to finish and put up all my shiz I’ve been trying to get started (website, etsy store, sending resumes out for overhire, etc.) for a year and just never did it. And I was really really good for the first day or so.
And then I got used to sleeping in, WAY too quickly. And the boyfriend works 3-11p so it actually takes effort to make myself work when he and Mad Men on Netflix Watch Instantly are so tantalizingly close by. And so I floundered in the motivation department, and gained 8 pounds, which pretty much brings us to today.
For example, it is 2:25pm on Monday and I have not yet put on a bra. I have an excuse, but it makes me look worse: I am waiting for the laundry cycle to finish because I am completely out of clean underwear. So yeah. I need a schedule. I am what they say, a great boss and a terrible employee.
So that’s my goal this week: make myself a schedule, and actually stick with it. Blogging will be part of this schedule, because it’s important. Not only to you, my zero readers, but to me, because I am the kind of person who has to express herself or she gets all jumbled inside and then REALLY nothing gets done.
First thing’s first, I’ve got to go see a man about a bra.