Vacation!

Sooo I had eight days off and was very productive in that still-feels-like vacation-because-I’m-doing-what-I-want-to-do way, but pretty much immediately fell back into my old night creature ways.  And then we had two days back on set, and now I am enjoying the first half of our last two day weekend til we wrap. Right, also, I hung out with the crew last night and ultimately waltzed in my front door at about the time I would usually be waking up on a shoot day.

Basically, my body hates me right now but my heart is happy.

I’m making friends, which is good. Friends make me invested in a work place, so I end up wanting to do better and be well-liked for my work and my craft, which motivates me to push myself more to do well.  I’m not much of a self-motivator, but I know what it takes to get me excited about something.  If I’m happy and want to be around the people I work with, I’ll work all the time, striving to do something amazing and produce a result I’m really proud of. If I’m unhappy or overwhelmed and dislike or don’t respect the people I work with, I’m there for the paycheck and out of there three seconds after the closing bell with no intentions of putting whatever I’m doing on my resume.  In my head I know that every experience is a learning experience and a way to prove my worth and carve my place as an artist, but my heart just isn’t in it if I can’t connect with people.

I see very little point in creating art in a vacuum, and that idea spills over into my regular life.  Aaand now that I’ve written that down I’m conflicted about it.

Thanks, blog. I have to think about stuff now.