I feel really pretty today

August 10, 2014 § Leave a comment

And considering I’m all hungover and post-rich wedding food bloaty and unshowered it’s kind of magical.

Maybe I should wear foundation more often.

Advertisements

Catch Up

August 9, 2014 § 3 Comments

I had coffee today because I was in a bad mood and I’m an addict; only half a cup but I’m awake enough now at 2am to finally update here again. My Summer of Too Many Yeses is winding down, and I think I did well. Not as well as I could have had I not stretched myself so thin, but that’s neither here nor there. I don’t seem to have made it on to anyone’s black list, so that’s a plus, and overall I was pretty happy with my work. We flew to New Hampshire for a wedding weekend the morning after opening, about 4 hours after I left the opening night party in fact (but see? Socializing with coworkers! I’m doing it!), effectively kicking off a four-day migraine. And then on Tuesday, when I was 99% sure I was dying of some horrible rotting brain syndrome, I was convinced to drink a cup of coffee and immediately found out that I was fine and could cancel all my doctor’s appointments that a half hour ago I doubted I would live to see.

And now I’m in catch-up mode, getting returns done, turning in receipts, tracking down payments. It’s the part I should love the most, the getting paid part, but it involves so much paperwork, excel spreadsheets, and no creativity whatsoever that I basically hate it.

And I have fall projects I’m gearing up for, because I can’t sit still. But tonight was a great reminder for what I can fill my life with if I don’t work all the time. Because that’s a real worry for me: what the hell do I do if I’m not constantly running from one obligation to another? Sometimes I feel like I don’t trust myself enough to have an interesting life without scheduling out every minute with work. And I have reason to worry, because in the darkest days of my chosen unemployment, I did Absolutely Nothing. Not even one thing. I didn’t stretch myself, I didn’t strive for any goals, I barely cleaned up after myself. And it was super lame, and I don’t want to be that lame again.

But then tonight: my client cancelled with me due to unfortunate unforeseen circumstances, and I reached out to a few friends. I ended up going to my first drop-in drawing class in years, in which I drew this bitchface queen:

IMG_1727.JPG

And then we got crepes and watched Boyhood at the Charles Theater and it blew my mind. I can’t stop thinking about this film. But it’s not the kind of thing I can review; just call me up and we can discuss it over a beer. I’m already ready to tackle its not-quite 3 hours again.

It was a perfect night; so perfect I didn’t think about jobs or money or any of the nagging worries that have been plaguing me for months. And I made art, and I enjoyed art, and I spent some great one-on-one time with one of my favorites, and with a friend group like ours it can be hard to get alone time.

And I posted that picture to the internet, which terrifies and thrills me. I still feel a bit sick knowing more talented others can see it and pick it apart, but up it will stay. So yeah, little victories and a pointed reminder that work is not the only thing that makes for an interesting life.

Where Am I?

You are currently viewing the archives for August, 2014 at it's this new thing i'm trying.