2016 and the Present

I drank caffeinated tea too late today, again. Self sabotage is a thing I need to work on. Self sabotage, and anxious thoughts, and procrastination, and disorganizedness, and, mainly, inherently, self sabotage.

I don’t know why I am so intimidated by the prospect of growing as an artist, when that’s all I’ve wanted for so long. Or, it feels like so long, I’m not actually sure how it all translates in real time. Last year was so long. It was so. Long. I feel like I lived so many lives in those recently past 365 days, and made so many leaps and changes and agonized over every single moment of it.

Last year we moved from Maryland to DC, from DC to Madison. We went from employed to unemployed and back again. We did so much moving and decision making it makes me a bit dizzy to think about it, and I have to remind myself to breathe. And that it’s all really fine. It’s exactly what I wanted to do, and where I wanted to be, and how I wanted to be spending my shiny new 2016.

Just a reminder. Don’t sabotage yourself so much. Black tea is delicious, but so is hibiscus. Your decisions were sound, and you’re doing good work. Your art is improving, and you have time. Your friends love you, your family loves you, the internet is a useful too for communication, and your husband and your cats are your home.

Go to bed.